Adventures in Trolling Cont'd

Ah, at long last, spring is finally here. To some people, that means gardening and bike riding and the arrival of the ice cream truck. For me, it means new venues for trolling: patios.

So H & I decided to check out a couple of the popular ones. When I say "popular" you know we were hoping it means "popular with handsome, successful 40-something men," ever the optomists are we. Well ... there was no shortage of beer-drinking, ripped t-shirt wearing 20-somethings. But grown-up men? In the whole place there were 2 men in their forties, and both were sporting shirts buttoned low to reveal a nest of chest hair. Mm mmm. It must have been our lucky day, because these two charmers made a beeline toward us.

Now I may be free with the critiquing here, safely hiding behind my keyboard, but in person I am actually quite polite. As for H, well, it kind of depends on the day. This day was a GOOD one. Here's how the conversation went:

Man With Overflowing Chest Hair: Hi there.
H (and this is why I love her): Honestly, you couldn't pay me enough.

I swear, she actually said that.

So we tried another patio. The first two guys who approached us were cute, if you want to date teenage boys. Which is a teeny bit inappropriate when you're the mother of one. Thanks, but no thanks. Then, miraculously, a table of men who actually looked old enough to drink without fake ID and kept all their body hair neatly tucked away invited us to join them. Things were looking up. We hung around for a while, H didn't say anything scary, and the cute one asked for my phone number.

So all in all, not a bad night of trolling.