Bachelor #36

Sometimes I amaze myself. My ability to attract some of the freakiest men on earth is truly remarkable. Read on at your own peril.

I met Bachelor #36 online, which is, in many cases, cause for concern from the get-go. But he seemed like lots of the good things I'm looking for: fit, smart, nice enough looking, interesting, funny, and even Jewish, which is always a nice bonus for my mother.

We were talking on the phone, actually having quite a good conversation, when Mr. Spontaneous Pants decided he just HAD to meet me RIGHT NOW. A little anxious, maybe, and it was almost midnight, but hell, I'm game for just about anything.

Well, just about.

On the phone, he was a little eccentric maybe, but generally light and funny. In person, in addition to being a little short (why, I ask you, why are they all so short?) and more grey-haired than his photos, he was suddenly all serious. It's not that easy to make this seasoned dater uncomfortable, but I've got to hand it to Bachelor #36. He sat across the table and stared. Wide eyed, silent, and staring. Until finally he said very slowly, and I quote: "YOU ARE THE FACE I'VE ALWAYS DREAMED OF."

Now, I'm confident enough to say that I am a reasonably attractive human being. And I know how to take a compliment (and how to spell one, which is a lot more than I can say about most men on the online dating sites, but I digress...) However, this time, every fibre of my being was screaming "FREAK!"

In a desperate attempt to break his gaze, I got up and went to the bathroom. When I returned, he told me that as he watched me walking away, he couldn't help noticing how beautiful my butt is, and that he would like very much to spend a few hours just rubbing it.

Sometimes my fibres are really perceptive.

NEXT!