Bachelors #38 and 39

Have you been wondering what ever happened to that Overpriced Dating Service? You know, the one Visa and I were kind enough to hand over $1600 I don't have to in the hopes of meeting someone, anyone that I don't hate?

Yeah, me too.

So I called, just to check in, say "hey", see what's happening in the land of taking large quantities of people's borrowed money, making them wait months at a time, and then setting them up with people they wouldn't ordinarily look twice at if their lives depended on it.

Turns out, the crack matchmaking team has been hard at work, matching away. Here's what I love about the Overpriced Dating Service: No matter how impossibly heinous their previous specimins have turned out to be, in spite of their VERY flattering descriptions, they can always manage to make the next one sound good. Maybe even great.

So... my next match, Bachelor #38, is 44, no kids but fine with dating someone who has kids, 6 feet tall, dark hair, nice looking, fit, blah blah blah, and here's the best part: he's a pilot. Well if you think I haven't spent every waking moment since that phone call fantasizing about Me, Dating A Pilot, you have a thing or two to learn about the inner workings of the mind of a neurotic single forty-year-old woman.

However... by now, in my head, The Pilot and I have circled the globe 3 or 4 times, because I've had a week and a half to explore the fantasy of Me, Dating A Pilot while The Pilot is too busy -- I don't know -- FLYING or something -- to call The Service and book a damn date with me. Which is REALLY frustrating because I can't tell you how much I love the idea of bumping into my ex-boyfriends and saying, I'd love to have coffee and catch up, but my boyfriend The Pilot is flitting me off to Paris for the weekend so I must rush off and pack.

So anyway, amazingly, my good friend at the Overpriced Dating Service is every bit as frustrated at The Pilot's extended absence as I am, and so has moved on to matching me again. I was a little disappointed at first, what with how heavily invested my fantasy life has already become in The Pilot, but all that was ancient history when she told me about Bachelor #39. This one is a lawyer, a gym junkie, has one daughter almost the same age as mine, is smart, funny, outgoing, and this time she actually described him as VERY good looking, in a dark, Mediterranean kind of way. Pilot? What pilot?

But of course, that was 3 days ago and as of today, I don't have a date with a pilot OR a lawyer. I just don't get it. But fortunately I have a very active fantasy life to keep me busy.

Stay tuned...