A Theory

I have a lot of theories. Some make sense, even to people outside of my head. Others, well, my friend D often suggests that I could hurt myself jumping to the conclusions I do.

But this isn't my theory. Credit goes to my friend C, who is the lone straight male voice in my chorus of sometimes loud, always opinionated and quite often inebriated girlfriends. C has the great pleasure of listening to all my tales from the dating dark side, and provides the much-appreciated though rarely-anticipated male perspective.

Here's what C thinks: the reason I'm not succeeding with online dating is that I am a hopeless romantic, and online dating is decidedly not. Romantic, that is. Hopeless? Oh yeah. What he means is, when you meet someone through a dating site, the whole thing is completely contrived, and far too closely resembles a job interview. Where's the romance in that?

I think C is onto something. Here's some evidence that I am, in fact, a hopeless romantic:

- I'm a girl. Really, 'nuff said, but there's more.
- I have been known to write poetry to my beloved (when I had one.) I really did. Please don't click away immediately. It was his idea, I swear.
- I do things like print pictures of us (when there's an "us") in black and white and frame them artistically over my bed. Which is a bitch when you break up, so don't get any ideas.
- When I have a new boyfriend I make everyone around me want to hurl with my incessant gushing, 12-year-old style
- I am 40 and still holding out for true love. That should do it right there.

So can a hopeless romantic meet her true love online? A true hopeless romantic never says never, but it is doubtful. I need a good old fashioned chance meeting. Luckily it's spring, so I'm feeling good about my chances.

If anyone's looking for me, I'll be roaming the streets in pretty outfits, deliberately inadvertently bumping into handsome strangers.