Bachelor #46

When I saw Bachelor #46's picture, I was stunned. He was GORGEOUS. Not passable, not OK, not maybe-he-looks-better-in-person. He was BEAUTIFUL. His profile didn't say a whole lot, but the demographics were good: 46, divorced with 2 kids, Jewish, 6"2. And did I mention HOLY CRAP IS HE GORGEOUS? So we emailed and made plans to meet for a drink.

Would you like the good news or the bad news first? Let's start with the good news. He was every bit as good-looking in person. Tall, dark hair, tanned complexion, dark, soulful eyes. He was striking.

Unfortunately... much, much to my dismay, that was about it for the good news.

Shall we discuss wardrobe? I have no words of explanation for what I'm about to tell you: The man was wearing a puffy shirt. Yes, just like in the famous Seinfeld episode, it was white and flowy and puffy. I kid you not. I wanted to ask if maybe he was running off to join a band of pirates later on. Or maybe he was low on laundry and dipped into his daughter's closet? During a power failure? And if that wasn't enough (which Lord knows it was) he was wearing cowboy boots. Now I'm sure that's perfectly normal in some places, but this is NOT one of them. I haven't seen anyone around here in cowboy boots since 1991. But there they were. In fact, he told me he wears them all the time, even in summer. With shorts.

Stunned as I was by these questionable wardrobe choices, I am not so superficial as to dismiss a VERY VERY attractive man just because he's fulfilling his inner 6-year-old's dress-up fantasies. In public. It was weird, no doubt, but wardrobe can be corrected. So I probed a little to find out what he's all about. Which, in hindsight, might not have been such a great idea. It probably would have been better to do all the talking myself and let him just sit there and look pretty. He was awfully good at THAT.

But instead, I found out that the handsome pirate/cowboy recently quit his normal, decently paying corporate job because he's decided he missed his calling and is now ready to pursue his dream. He's going to be a rock star! Isn't that awesome?! I didn't have the heart to ask if he was aware that he was 46 years old. He was dead serious. For the last 8 months, he's been living at his brother's house and working on his demo-tape. He just knows his big break is going to come really, really soon. Especially because, as he said, "I know I've got the looks." Cool, huh?

Next.