The Case of the Vanishing Men

Lately my single friends and I have been noticing an alarming trend among the men we are ATTEMPTING to date: they have developed the ability to vanish at will. Amazing, no?

Case in point: My friend J was perusing an online dating site, as we bored, dateless singles tend to do. She discovered that someone new had hotlisted her. His was one of the rare well-written profiles, free of grammatical errors and, astonishingly, displaying actual personality, and his picture wasn't bad, so J, a kindred spirit in her extreme lack of patience in awaiting the arrival of Prince Charming on a silver platter, took it upon herself to write to him. And then? Vanished. For two days she sat by her computer, puzzling, and saying over and over, "But HE hotlisted ME."

Case #2: Similarly, I noticed a rather hot looking man who had smiled at me online recently, and decided that I too am getting more than a little impatient waiting for my prince to come of his own accord, so I took matters into my own restless hands and wrote to the hot man. To my great pleasure, he promptly replied "Thanks for the note. Would love to chat. Your number or mine?" Now ordinarily I prefer to take the man's number rather than give out my own, for fear of inadvertently handing my contact information out to serial killers and the like, but, knowing how I dread having to pick up the phone and make that first call, I thought it might be best to toss the ball back to him. I replied with my cell number, and told him to call any time. He said OK. That was Friday night. Did I hear from the hot man all weekend? Not a word. It's now Tuesday, and has he called? You guessed it. Another vanishing man.

I ask you... what the...? Sure, I know all the obvious answers. Maybe they're juggling multiple women. Maybe he dreads making that first awkward call as much as I do. Maybe he's busy, legitimately or otherwise. Maybe I have disappeared on my share of men with no rational explanation. Maybe J & I should get a life so we don't spend so much time trying to figure out why strange men we HAVEN'T EVEN MET are letting us down. OK, that last one is probably more of a "hell, yes" than a "maybe." Yet still, I am puzzled by all this senseless vanishing. Can I not just get past all this heinous dating garbage and cut to the good part already? If anyone knows the secret to THAT trick, please send it my way. Much appreciated.