Dating is not for the feint-hearted, the neurotic, or the obsessive compulsive. I have checked my phone not less than every 40 seconds for the last 48 hours, praying, wishing, willing it to ring. Where are you Bachelor #49? You can't tell me we didn't have a great first date. I was there. I know.
I think maybe bad dates are easier.
So here's my question: How long is too long? Here's how completely loony I have become: I've now resorted to polling my friends, my friends' boyfriends, and any dating site I can Google in order to answer that question.
Here are the varying viewpoints:
- If he was REALLY interested, he would have called the next day. (I HATE all the people who have said this. Hate you hate you hate you. Oh wait, that's my opinion too. Fine. Whatever.)
- Any time in the first 48 hours is totally acceptable. (I have, as of tonight, added these people too my hate list too. Welcome. Thanks for coming out.)
- Any time in the first 3 days is fine. (I do not hate these people yet, but this time tomorrow if my phone has yet to ring, look out.)
- Any time up to a week is OK. (These people are pretty safe for a while. Actually I'm growing more fond of you by the minute. Hi guys. How's it going?)
- The male equivalent of The Rules says he HAS to wait a MINIMUM of three days, lest he appear too available and frighten me off. As if. (These people are my new best friends. Love to all of you!)
So I ask you, good people of the blogosphere, where do you sit on this pressing issue? How long is it still sane to cling to hope, construct elaborate proposal fantasies and shamelessly sit by the phone? When is it time to face the music, drown yourself in Shiraz, and resume your rightful place on Jdate?
Enquiring minds want to know. Please be kind.
Special thanks to the always relevant Partridge Family for the inspiring song name after which this post was titled.
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4 comments:
THE HELL????? I do not understand the no calling... And is there really the 3 day calling rule for boys? Is that like the 3 date rule for girls before we can sleep with a guy?
Damn him - call already!
My input may not count for much, since I've been out of the dating scene since sometime back in the Reagan administration. Anyway, I don't think there is a consistent rule that can be applied to most guys. Assuming he'll get back to you, and I'm betting he will, the exact timing would be affected by any number of factors relevant to his personal situation and preferences. I would say anything up to a week and a half or so would not be an unreasonable period of time to expect. After that time, I'd suggest you go ahead and contact him. I don't think most guys mind at all when the female takes some of the initiative on this.
Bob - Are you trying to kill me? A WEEK AND A HALF????
I'd say it depends on just how 'lovely' the evening was, actually. A real nice good night kiss, I would expect a week, tops. Anything lovelier, I would hope to hear from him sooner. Try to remember though, it took you so long to make arrangements to see him, it's possible he's just really that busy. Most guys aren't going to call unless they have a reason to (ie setting up another date). If he's booked for the next week or more, he might not call just to say hello. A wise man once told me, wait 4 or 5 days, or until something relevant to your conversation comes to mind, and send a lightly flirty text which essentially invites him to make contact. I don't even ask a question, implying I expect a response, just a humorous statement I know he'll find cute. I've had that work really well. All that said, I've been checking your blog to see if he had called! Nice to know I'm not the only compulsive phone checker! :)
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