In the meantime, however, I think I may be too jaded on the topic to get any actual dates out of the deal. Witness the following online conversations:
Miscellaneous Online Bachelor A (who, for the record, contacted me, lest you think from the following that perhaps it might have been the other way 'round): So, I should probably tell you, I met a woman about 5-6 weeks ago, and we've been on 3 dates. I kind of like her but it's going awfully slowly. And I had another date with another woman who I think I'll see again. Just thought you should know.
Me: Well, don't let me complicate your life any further.
Miscellaneous Online Bachelor B: Do you want to meet for a drink this weekend?
Me: Sure, that sounds good.
Miscellaneous Online Bachelor B: Well, the thing is, my car's in the shop this weekend. So can you swing by and pick me up?
Me: Well, see, the thing is, yeah, no.
Miscellaneous Online Bachelor C: You're yummy.
Me:
Miscellaneous Online Bachelor C: You there?
Me:
Miscellaneous Online Bachelor C: Hey sexy, where'd you go?
Me:
Miscellaneous Online Bachelor D: Would you like to get together for coffee?
Me: To tell you the truth, I've never had a successful coffee date. How about a drink instead?
Miscellaneous Online Bachelor D: I don't drink. How about we meet for soup?
Me: Oh, of course. A soup date. Why didn't I think of that.
Miscellaneous Online Bachelor E (EVERY SINGLE TIME I LOG ON): So, how are you on this _____ (insert daily weather report here) evening/morning?
Me:
See what I mean? There has to be a better way. Please, someone, anyone, tell me there is a better way.
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7 comments:
Who in the hell suggests soup as an alternate to a drink or coffee?
Good lord!
This is the funniest damn thing I've read in a while!
Ok, let's go to Vegas. ;)
45 and never been married...stopped looking long ago.
I would not be helping with any advice. You've got the right attitude though, laughter is the best medicine. That and many martinis.
Hiccuuup!
I think you should be open-minded about soup. Get gazpacho, and bring something with which to spike it. It's like having a Bloody Mary!
Sorority - Good question. A non-drinker, that's who, and what on earth would I do with one of those??
QTmama - Thanks & I'm so there!
Wicked - Martinis & mockery - the single girl's salvation. But you can't give up! If I can do this, anyone can! Just think of it as blog fodder, and then even a bad date is a good thing.
Del - the issue wasn't the soup as much as the fact that he suggested it INSTEAD of drinks (not, alas, as a mixer). The hell??
Clearly, the soup guy has a "chicken noodle."
Boooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
TEARS!! TEARS!!
I'm laughing so hard I have tears!
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