Bachelor #54

What’s the cardinal rule in dating, the one thing that ever savvy dater knows is an absolute no-no on a first date? DON'T TALK ABOUT YOUR EX.

There are others, of course: Don’t talk about your physical ailments (particularly the digestive and foot-related ones); don’t disclose your mental health history, criminal record or recent stint in rehab; don’t mention that you live with your mother; and please, for the love of all that’s good in the world, don’t whip out a vibrator at the table.

But most of all, by this point in our lives and dating careers, we should all know better than to talk about our ex-boyfriends/girlfriends/husbands/wives/fiancé(e)s, right? Well, not bachelor #54. Bachelor #54 thinks his fiancée, with whom he broke up OVER A YEAR AGO is a fascinating topic of conversation for a first date.

Here are details about Bachelor #54’s ex-fiancee that I was fully content not knowing:

- The street she lived on, and its proximity to the street he lived on
- How natural it all was at first, blending their families
- The issues he had with her children
- The issues she had with his children
- The issues his children had with her children
- The issues her children had with his children
- Are you getting the idea here?
- Does this sound like appropriate first-date conversation to you?
- And my personal favorite: He told me the delightful story of how they had met a couple years before while they were both married, and then the lovely coincidence of how they met again when they were both divorced. Isn’t that charming?

I thought about sharing lovely romantic stories about my past loves, but then I realized a) two wrongs don't make a right, and more importantly b) that would prolong the agony that was this date. And no one wanted THAT. Well, at least I didn't.

Bachelor #54, spurred on by the obvious romance in the air (alas, not with me) tried to kiss me. I guess he mistook the glossing over of my eyes for sparkle?

Next.