Lately I’ve been wondering if my approach to dating isn’t just a little too narcissistic. Case in point: I have, as I have documented here on many occasions, a distinct preference for the dark-haired man. I also tend to be most attracted to those who are articulate, professionally employed, fit, funny, divorced with kids, and maybe just a little neurotic. In a nutshell? The male version of me.
As Carrie Bradshaw would say, I can’t help but wonder, is this a perfectly natural inclination, some Darwinian predisposition that can’t be helped, or is it an indication that perhaps I’m a smidge more neurotic than I think, and maybe I’m bypassing all kinds of perfectly wonderful men, just because they don’t match the picture in my head, or the one in my mirror?
For example, how many men have I dismissed as soon as I see a grammatical error in their online profiles? Answer: A LOT. But is it really fair to judge everyone on my own areas of strength? Maybe he’s not so confident when wielding an apostrophe, but he’s masterful with a calculator in hand. How many men do I completely fail to notice just because they’re blonde? Why am I instantly bored by perfectly kind but not-very-funny guys? Why do I assume I’m best off with a divorced dad when there are countless examples of single, childless men happily coupled with single moms?
And today, I’m working from home (I use the term “working” loosely), and there’s a very sexy construction worker toiling away outside my house. I’ve been enjoying both the mild flirtation and the view, but is he someone I’d consider dating? Am I a dating snob? Who am I to say he couldn’t be a highly intelligent person, just because he’s not a white collar professional?
Maybe, just maybe, George Kastanza was onto something when he came up with the notion of going against his instincts, if not in all areas of life, at least when it comes to dating. Maybe there’s something to be said for dating against type. Lord knows my current strategy has not exactly panned out. So far the dark-haired, funny divorced dads with impeccable grammar haven’t been quite the dream-come-true I have always dreamed them to be.
Maybe I’ll go outside and see how that construction is coming along.
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4 comments:
Although you're not 20, maybe you should adopt what Maria Dahavana Headley did in her book "The Year of Yes".
The book is about a woman who said yes to every man who asked her out on a date. Apparently, she ended up marrying one of the men that she would have initially said no to before starting her experiment.
If nothing else, it would add more great material to your blog.
What you have been doing thus far has not resulted in that which you seek. Maybe this is the time to experiment, no? Although, I would encourage you not to comprimise on the articulate and funny - just seek those qualities in packages that you have overlooked in the past.
Just curious, have you tried religious services or lectures? For one thing, you meet Jewish people, and for another, even if you don't meet anyone on that occasion, you get to hear an interesting talk. Plus, these events are inexpensive (or free) and generally include food.
Very intropective post! Construction worker = fun for a fling and you get free work done around your house. That is an excellent side benefit of a summer fling.
Good grammar is important as is being articulate and funny. Good looks may fade as you age but a sense of humour stays with you. Besides - you are one funny girl! Whoever he is for you, he has to be able to make you laugh!
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