The Good, The Bad and The Ugly

Let's start with the good, shall we?

Guess what? The Overpriced Dating Service has, at long last, emerged once again from the depths of uselessness to present their next $114 specimen. So here’s what makes me bonkers about the Overpriced Dating Service’s M-O. They set me up with some boring, pre-maturely middle-aged dweeb. I complain. A lot. They call with the next prospect, who sounds positively too good to be true. Handsome, successful, fit, charismatic. You know the drill. So I wait for them to call me back with a confirmed date. And I wait. And I wait. And then, every time, it turns out he IS too good to be true. In fact, I’m fairly certain they make these guys up for just this purpose. So it turns out, every time, that even though he’s DYING to meet me, he’s just too gosh darned busy right now and decided to put his membership – for which he paid gobs of money for the express purpose of meeting women -- on hold. Indefinitely. So… I am impatient. I call. A lot. So, in a desperate attempt to shut me the hell up, they send me out on another date. With a boring, pre-maturely middle-aged dweeb. And then the cycle continues…

But amazingly, this time when they called to tell me about the next Mr. Too Good To Be True, they were actually able to schedule a date. Naturally he’s away for a couple of weeks so the date is 2 ½ weeks out, but it is an actual confirmed date, which leads me to believe he may be an actual real person. Of course, the jury will remain out until I meet him, but at least there is reason to believe he is neither a consolation-prize nor a fictional character. Which is a vast improvement for the Overpriced Dating Service. So keep your fingers crossed on that one.

And now for the bad. Remember Bachelor #49? Well, it has now been a week since he managed to pull himself away from his busy schedule long enough to send me an email, and not a word. I have officially given up AGAIN. Only I mean it this time. Really. I’m quite certain he’s disappeared for good, and even if he hasn’t, why would I want to waste my time with someone who’s too busy to shower me with the constant attention I so richly deserve, or at least that I so desperately want and truthfully can’t function without? Obviously, he is not the guy for me.

Which brings us to .... Now, I don’t want to be mean, but sometimes you just have to call a spade a spade. I’ve been doing the hideous online dating thing AGAIN, thank you Bachelor #49 for THAT. A guy wrote to me and had one very hot picture posted. His profile was very well written and very romantic. He was 52 -- a little older than I’d like, but if he looked as good as he did in that picture, I could get used to 52. So I wrote back. Only, I didn’t realize until AFTER I’d written back that he actually had 3 other pictures posted … all of which looked NOTHING like the hot one. In fact, he looked more like 62 than 52. And not a good 62 at all. I think it’s safe to say that first picture was taken decades ago. Of someone else. I don’t think so, grandpa.

Next.