I’m just going to come right out and say it: I have a date with an Elvis impersonator.
Yes folks, there are dangers to online dating I never could have imagined. People always warn you there are all manner of freaks and weirdos, but this proves once and for all that truth is indeed stranger than fiction. I couldn't have made this up if I tried.
And here’s the really crazy part: I’m still going.
OK, stop thinking what you're thinking! We’re not talking about old, fat Elvis here. We’re talking Elvis, the early years. Elvis who could only be shown on Ed Sullivan from the waist up. I’ve been to the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame. I’m not incapable of seeing the appeal of a date with The King. Of course, I have yet to see a picture in a white vinyl jumpsuit…
The truth is, he’s cute, he’s nice, he’s funny, he appears to be reasonably intelligent and articulate (at least off-stage) and he’s got personality and charm to spare. And he’s definitely not boring. I know I may risk being locked up for saying this, but maybe he’s just a nice guy who happens to have a rather unorthodox hobby? Maybe spending a few weekends a year throwing your panties at your boyfriend while he gyrates on stage singing Viva Las Vegas isn’t such a bad thing? Wait, maybe the panty throwing is for Tom Jones. Oh, whatever! We all have our eccentricities, don’t we? I eat cereal without milk. Who am I to judge?
Sometimes my ability to justify just about anything in the name of going on a date is positively frightening.
Send help. Quick.
Thank you, thank you very much.
Yes folks, there are dangers to online dating I never could have imagined. People always warn you there are all manner of freaks and weirdos, but this proves once and for all that truth is indeed stranger than fiction. I couldn't have made this up if I tried.
And here’s the really crazy part: I’m still going.
OK, stop thinking what you're thinking! We’re not talking about old, fat Elvis here. We’re talking Elvis, the early years. Elvis who could only be shown on Ed Sullivan from the waist up. I’ve been to the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame. I’m not incapable of seeing the appeal of a date with The King. Of course, I have yet to see a picture in a white vinyl jumpsuit…
The truth is, he’s cute, he’s nice, he’s funny, he appears to be reasonably intelligent and articulate (at least off-stage) and he’s got personality and charm to spare. And he’s definitely not boring. I know I may risk being locked up for saying this, but maybe he’s just a nice guy who happens to have a rather unorthodox hobby? Maybe spending a few weekends a year throwing your panties at your boyfriend while he gyrates on stage singing Viva Las Vegas isn’t such a bad thing? Wait, maybe the panty throwing is for Tom Jones. Oh, whatever! We all have our eccentricities, don’t we? I eat cereal without milk. Who am I to judge?
Sometimes my ability to justify just about anything in the name of going on a date is positively frightening.
Send help. Quick.
Thank you, thank you very much.
Posts
2 comments:
Seriously?!?!
Do we need an intervention here?
I am here via restaurantrefugee's comment on my post today who advised me "for the love of all things holy" NOT to go on a date I wrote about. I see now why she has plenty of fodder to back up her premonition. Your account of the Elvis date is hysterical.
I will be back to read more.
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