Bachelor #59

Bachelor #59 was one of the most obvious forms of online dating hazards: The Good Writer With No Discernible Personality In Person. Yes, in writing Bachelor #59 was positively oozing with personality. He was confident. He was funny. He made a distinct point of demonstrating his commendable command of the apostrophe, which is no easy feat for the average online dater. He came across as smart, interesting and engaging. He was SO charming I was willing to give him a shot even though he was 53.

Then he showed up with a big blob of mustard on his shirt. And wet shorts.

Now, in the hands of a man with a sense of humour and a personality, that could have been a fantastic ice breaker and the beginning of a very amusing conversation. In the hands of a man with the personality of soap scum, it was nothing more than pitiful and embarassing to be seen with.

Ordinarily, even on a bad first date, I do my due diligence and ask the basic questions: occupation, age of children, length since divorce, etc. With Bachelor #59, none of these questions even crossed my mind. There were only 2 things I wanted to know:

- How can you seem so interesting in writing and be so painfully bland in person?
- Is 11 minutes too soon to get out of here?

And another thing: it's time to stop all this "I look young for my age" nonsense once and for all. If you're 53 and you have gray hair and jowls, you don't look "young for your age." You might look young for your grandfather's age, but for your age, you look bang on. I don't care what your mother told you.

Next.